Cyber-Bullying

Word Count: 893

This week we are supposed to pick a specific media story that relates to cyber bullying or internet abuse and address how the user could have avoided the events. The purpose is for us to demonstrate what we've learned about internet safety and effective online communication. I have chosen no one specific instance of cyber bullying to share or address, because I feel that doing so would be to shame a bullying victim--this is a very sensitive topic for me and many of these cyber bullying cases end in the death of young children and teens. There's no point in telling these victims how they could have handled the situation differently, that would only be cruel and unfair, because bullying is never the victims fault.

Instead I'd like to share with you the names of a few of these victims, and in their honor I'd like to discuss the steps that you should take if you ever find yourself under attack online.

May they rest in peace:

Amanda Todd--Cyber Bullying Victim--Committed Suicide at age 15
Hannah Smith--Cyber Bullying Victim--Committed Suicide at age 14
Jessica Laney--Cyber Bullying Victim--Committed Suicide at age 16
Megan Meier-Cyber Bullying Victim--Committed Suicide at age 13
Audrie Pott--Raped and Cyber Bullied--Committed Suicide at age 15

Ryan Halligan--Cyber Bullying Victim--Committed Suicide at age 14
Joshua Unsworth--Cyber Bullying Victim--Committed Suicide at age 15
Daniel Perry --Cyber Bullying Victim--Committed Suicide at age 17
Ronan Hughes--Cyber Bullying Victim--Committed Suicide at age 17
Tyler Clementi--Cyber Bullying Victim--Committed Suicide at age 18

I share these names with you today, to help bring awareness to the subject of cyber bullying. It knows no age range, no gender, no distance. Each of these teens has their own tragic story, they were harassed, bullied, blackmailed, sometimes assaulted and one victim was raped while unconscious. Their privacy was violated, they were stalked, they were mentally tortured and this has and is happening all over the world. Almost all of these victims had people online telling them they should commit suicide. This is the darker side of the internet, the deplorable side of humanity. One of the worst side effects of media on behavior is the mass desensitization towards violence.  It was not their fault, it will never be their fault, but if you should ever find yourself in such a horrible situation: there are steps you can take.

1) Remember that this is not your fault, and you are not alone.

No matter the reason, bullying is not your fault, and those people are lying to you. Remember that. Also remember you aren't alone, millions of people have been the victims of online bullying. Bullys don't care who they pick on.

2) Ask for help

If you're feeling overwhelmed and you can't figure out what to do next--then ask for help. There are a number of different places you can go. A child should seek the help of an adult figure in charge, someone whom they can trust, a parent, a teacher, a principle, doctor, therapist, etc. AND if someone asks you for help with bullying, take it seriously.

3) Follow these 6 steps to get the bullys out of your life.

• Take threats seriously, if you do happen to see the threats and abuse towards you online, screen shot it--this can help you later when you ask for help. It can also be used as evidence in a court case, say if you need a restraining order for example.  However, remember that you don't have to see these messages, don't obsess over them, and once you have your evidence ignore the rest. Do no re-read hurtful, angry, mean, or abusive messages. Remember--its not your fault. These people do not define you.
• Make sure all of your social media sites (including your emails) are private and strongly password protected.
• Delete any and all offenders from your friend and contact lists. Report them to the sites administrators. Block them. 
• If things don't get better--deactivate your account--I know it's hard to believe but you'll be OK. If you really need a social media account to communicate with close family and friends you can make a new, private profile with a pseudo name and only add those closest to you. 
• Get a new phone number if necessary, its not as hard as you think it is. 
• Don't respond to negative messages, in fact, if you can, once you have your evidence, don't even read them. Delete them right away--and don't retaliate. You don't need to stoop to their level.

If you know someone, or you think you know someone who is being bullied--online or otherwise, please reach out. Let them know they are not alone, and that there is something that can be done. 

Lastly, remember what you do and what you say online has real life consequences--not just for yourself but for those with whom you communicate. Never. Ever. Tell someone they should kill themselves, or that the world would be a better place without them--because if you're the reason why they do, if you're the last straw, you've basically just become an accessory to murder. Always remember to be kind, remember the golden rule, and remember to think before you post.



References

Goad, Jim. "15 Teen Bullying Cases With Tragic Ends." Thought Catalog. April 22, 2015. Accessed November 01, 2016. http://thoughtcatalog.com/jim-goad/2015/04/15-teen-bullying-cases/

"Stories of 7 Teen Suicides Because of Ask.fm Bullying." CyberBullying Resources. August 2016. Accessed November 01, 2016. https://nobullying.com/stories-of-7-teen-suicides-because-of-ask-fm-bullying/

"The Top Six Unforgettable CyberBullying Cases Ever | NoBullying - Bullying & CyberBullying Resources." NoBullying. October 19, 2016. Accessed November 01, 2016. https://nobullying.com/six-unforgettable-cyber-bullying-cases/

"Tips to Help Stop Cyberbullying." ConnectSafely. December 6, 2013. Accessed November 01, 2016. http://www.connectsafely.org/tips-to-help-stop-cyberbullying/

"Tyler Clementi 1992-2010." Pure Sight Online Child Safety. Accessed November 01, 2016. http://puresight.com/Real-Life-Stories/tyler-clementi-1992-2010-puresight.html

Reporter, Telegraph. "Online Trick 'led to Teenage Boy's Suicide'" The Telegraph. June 08, 2015. Accessed November 01, 2016. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/11661272/Online-trick-led-to-teenage-boys-suicide.html